Learning How to Thrive After Divorce

I believe it’s possible to set the bar higher than
simply survival. I believe we can learn to thrive after divorce.
Particularly for those of us who are divorced and have children, it’s
vital we heal our own emotional issues so we can be present, loving
parents. We need to do a better job of keeping our children out of the
potential crossfire of divorcing adults.

Life has a way of
throwing us curve balls which act as cosmic wake-up calls. For me, it
was getting divorced from my high school sweetheart after 20 years when
my children were only 3, 6, and 9. For others, the curve ball may be
losing your job, facing a health challenge, or losing a loved one. How
we handle those curve balls teaches us who we really are. I look upon
my divorce experience not with regret or pain; I look upon my divorce
with gratitude as one of the greatest gifts of my life because of the
woman I’ve become as a result of my journey.

As I traveled on my
divorce journey, I kept asking myself what was my motivating force that
kept me going forward. What core values did I use as a compass to
direct me on the road ahead? As I asked myself these questions, I kept
hearing the word “thrive” and feeling the energy of that word
resonating in my heart. The word itself conveys a sense of inspiration,
hope, and success.

From this self-inquiry, I came to articulate
what I call the THRIVE Principles ™. They are tools that can help you
handle the curve balls and win every time. These universal principles
and values have been taught by many great spiritual teachers and
leaders over centuries of human existence. What is new, however, is the
positioning of these core principles together.

T – Trust

The
first Principle is to TRUST. Trust that you are made of the right
stuff. You have every internal resource or skill that’s needed to help
you find your way through a problem. It’s just a matter of learning how
to access your own incredible talents. Trust that you will make
mistakes and that you can learn from them. Most importantly, you need
to trust yourself. You are the world’s best expert on you!

H – Honesty

It’s
so important to learn to be HONEST with yourself and with others.
Without honesty, there can be no authenticity. When you can be real
with yourself and with others, they can be real with you. If you need
help, be honest and ask for what you need. If you want to say no, be
honest and decline. Often we say “yes” to a request just to be polite
or “do the right thing.”

R – Responsibility

The
third Principle is RESPONSIBILITY. As many great spiritual teachers
tell us, we need to be 100% responsible for our current reality. Taking
responsibility puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Otherwise,
you end up as the perpetual back-seat driver — always knowing better
after the fact. You get to play the powerless victim, spending time and
energy blaming others and making excuses for why you don’t get what you
say you wanted in life. When you harness the power of responsibility,
you can affect change and take action to accomplish your goals.

I – Integrity

One
of the most fundamental principles is INTEGRITY. Your word is
incredibly powerful and sets the Universe in motion to align with your
word. It’s vital that you do what you say and say what you do. If
you’re not going to do something, declare that fact. Living in full
integrity helps you to live “in the zone” where you’ll find it
effortless and magical to accomplish your goals.

V – Vision

Whether
you’re creating a business, a relationship, a trim body, or a new
hobby, you must take the time to create an inspiring VISION for
yourself. Without a vision, you don’t have the big picture. It’s easy
to get caught up in battling daily brush fires, never feeling like you
can get ahead. Articulating a vision defines your true horizon. Your
vision should empower you and inspire you. Holding a vision pulls you
through the day-to-day challenges and keeps you in action toward your
goals.

E – Expression

Human beings have a
huge spectrum of emotional expression. There’s rage, sadness, and fear
at one end and ecstasy and love at the other. It’s been said that
emotion is simply energy in motion. Bottling up your emotions is like
putting psychic sludge into your system. Eventually you either shut
down or you get backed up and explode. It’s living in our fullest
expression of ourselves that we can feel fully alive.

You Deserve to Thrive

Each
of us is here because we have a unique talent or gift we bring to the
world. Life is full of adversity and unexpected challenges along the
way. Use the THRIVE Principles ™ as the foundation for playing full out
and delivering what you have to offer with passion, joyArticle Submission, and ease!

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